one for and from the archives
written in july 2009.
often – and oftner in the past few days – i’ve imagined myself sitting cross-legged on the couch, laptop propped up by a pillow, listening to the acoustics on a rain-lashed tin roof, taking generous swigs from a steaming mug of tea/corn soup and typing out – one letter a time – everything that has passed between the same times of this year and last – some the most life-altering days in my 26-year memory.
however, for the lack of timely and simultaneous availability of all the above mentioned, coupled with a studied preference for guilty pleasures of unproductivity, it remained unsaid. unwritten.
if a histogram were to be made of my life in the past 12 months — serendipity on a scale of naught to 10 – on Y axis and calendar time (July to July) – on the X axis — it could well give the Manhattan skyline a run for its storeys.
from agreeing on spending life with someone-to deciding on who to spend it with-to being an unrelenting participant in “mission before and after” of crazy house refurbishing-to spending precious (wo)man hours pondering over the right pink for bangles-to furiously debating the texture of the hara-bhara kebab for it qualify for the wedding menu-to discussing, followed by frantic recceing, the swellest swathes of land and shade for the venue – the bars get higher, sky-scraperish. and the to’s and hyphenations sum up only one half of this period.
life was one sinful dessert, dripping with the gooey goodness of festivity and anticipation, ready to be had with relish; fulfilling and hypnotic. all the worries of the world were dealt with with much ease and leg cramps and knee aches embalmed with sweet, steaming cups of chai. arguments between parents was dealt with by sitting them down for a “don’t reverse-age” lecture and hours of tedious list-making was followed by pleasurable seconds of ticking/striking off the achievements. many a lunch comprised of aalu-tikki and anar juice at lajpat nagar and many dinners were lazily wrapped around forks with chilly sauce for accompaniment. walking shoes replaced heels and the car became a temporary store-house for retail. room resembled a warehouse from ‘junkyard wars’ where work was perpetually in progress — boxes of invitation cards, transparent wrapping of saris, glittering paraphernalia…and then some more. the big day arrived wrapped in silk and satin, all hues of golden and mauve-pink, smelling sweetly and dreamily of crimson roses and tangerine marigolds and of scarlet henna. oh, the trembling feet and the nervous energy, the flashing cameras and a thousand pair of eyes gazing — some lovingly, others wonderingly. oh the un-suppressible giggles…the jitters. then the state of married-ness…love, happiness, companionship and shyness.
then came the heartache of separation — first with parents, then soon as i got together with him — with him. the rest went by in a haze…office, people, around till came july and it became clear there was unison and yet another separation on the cards…
…i have lost the thread somewhere…cannot complete this. histogram dips, skyline diminishes…manhattan still rules.
